The holidays are already a time for inherent stress. Stir in an impending divorce and the resultant mixture can be less than delightful. If you are a separated couple, try these ways for putting some joy back in your season.
- Don’t ignore how impactful this change will be. While optimism can often be a powerful tool, in this case having too much of it can result in you being blindsided. Separation is a huge adjustment. Recognizing and accepting that will help you be prepared for what is immediately to come and eventually be excited for what lies ahead.
- Map everything out. Making a plan and writing things down is a great way to take ownership of the situation and give yourself a much needed feeling of control. Decide what your goals are for this period and what you will and won’t let yourself do, feel and think about. The more definitive and detailed you are, the more accountable you will be forced to be.
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- Identify your de-stressors and utilize them when needed. Think about the activities and items that take you to your happy place and use them as tools to combat rising stress levels.
- Surround yourself with people. While self-reflection is important, so is feeling like you are a part of something. Undertake activities that will have you in the midst of people. Socialness can be contagious. Don’t be afraid to give into it.
- Give yourself permission to skip an event that may cause you distress. Sometimes, however, it is okay to opt-out of social engagement if you believe it will cause you more harm than good. This isn’t an excuse to become a recluse, but rather the opportunity to do a reality check on what is and isn’t a wise choice for your emotional health.
- Make it about someone else. While it’s hard to forget about your marital situation, give yourself a break by directing your concern outward. The holidays are the perfect time to help others in need.
- Blend old and new traditions. Your holidays most likely involve a certain amount of tradition. Decide which of those you will continue on and then come up with new traditions to mark this new chapter of your life that is just beginning.
Separation and divorce are tough any time of the year, but the holidays can seem to intensify the pain. Focus on strategies for getting through the season and emerge on the other side ready to face what the New Year will bring.
Sources: San Diego Divorce Center, Huffington Post
Board Certified Marital and Family Law Attorney Charles D. Jamieson understands that divorce is an extremely sensitive and important issue. Thanks to extensive experience and a focus on open communication, Attorney Jamieson adeptly addresses the complex issues surrounding divorce while delivering excellent personal service. To discuss issues related to divorce, please contact The Law Firm of Charles D. Jamieson, P.A. online or call 561-478-0312.
